My fellow Americans, if you hesitate spending your vacation in France, you should not delay it for many reasons.
If you are a fan of NASCAR or other motor races, we have organized the best mad truck race in the world in Nice on Bastille Day. Check the number of casualties: 84 deaths and not counting 18 dying people and hundreds of maimed pedestrians!
Paris has the best sharpshooter team in the world. Check the number of casualties in the Bataclan nightclub, Paris, on November 15, 2015, which far surpassed those killed in the Orlando gay nightclub on June 12, 2016. Imagine the thrill of running errands in the streets of Paris while hearing people screaming around you.
We have organized the first beheading of a businessman in Europe at Saint Quentin Fallavier, Isère, on June 26, 2015.
We take great care of police officers. We slit the throat of a couple of them in front on their four-year-old boy in Magnanville, on June 14, 2016.
We also took great care of journalists who mocked the prophet. We slaughtered the entire staff of Charlie Hebdo on January 7, 2015. We scored a big victory over freedom of speech. Not one cartoonist has dared to mock the prophet since our attack.
To be honest with you, there are other reasons for not postponing your visit in France.
If you are an amateur of good wine, hurry up before we ban alcohol on the ground of the sharia law!
If you are a woman lured by sexy underwear or very short skirts, hurry up before we ban these filthy shops. All the women should wear the burqa in the streets.
As you know, we are a minority but a threatening one.
We need not to win elections for establishing the sharia law. Politicians and journalists are our collaborators, but we want to thank particularly your president Barack Hussein Obama who is our best ally on defending our religion whatsoever the critics!
A special mention to Angela Merkel who is helping us to become the first community in Europe while delivering us free visas. She is a wonderful lady while imposing quotas of migrants on every European country.
My advice pure and simple for choosing your next president
Do not listen to Donald Trump and his farcical proposal of halting Muslims entering your country.
Vote for the wise Hillary Clinton who tweeted four days after the Bataclan’s slaughter in Paris:
“Let’s be clear: Islam is not our adversary. Muslims are peaceful and tolerant people and have nothing whatsoever to do with terrorism”
© Bernard Martoia for Dreuz.info.